leftintherain asked:


I loved this girl and gave up all of my dreams for her. I wanted to be a professional musician but i turned down every opportunity bc I wanted to be close to her. she pushed and pushed for marrage. I even asked her parents for her hand in marrige. She knew all that I gave up to be with her and that I was fully commited. When I went out and bought the ring she said that her feelings had changed and she wanted to be friends(***** a word that begins with b and ends with h). anyway why do women want to be just friends its ok because its a heart decision but when guys do it they are dogs? Why do women drive good men to be bad?

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7 Responses to “my ex and i dated for 4 years i was ready to propose and now she just wants to be friends why do women do that”

1. notyou311 on June 18th, 2008 12:20 am

   She has had second thoughts. It is better to find out that she isn’t in love with you now rather than after you get engaged or even married. Consider yourself fortunate.

2. Feathers on June 18th, 2008 1:36 am

   Maybe you just waited to long to ask her for marriage. And if your calling here these horrible names like you just said, I think its best you leave her alone.

3. Cesar's Baby3 on June 21st, 2008 7:03 am

   the problem could be that she has committment issues

   and well some girls do like to jsut play around and not settle down with any guy

   i know it ***** but one day you’ll find someone for you

4. KHN on June 23rd, 2008 3:02 pm

   You dodged a bullet. IF you had to change your entire lifestyle, career goals and PERSONALITY for this woman… you’ve just dodged the biggest bullet in your whole entire life.

   Women want to stay friends because of the time vested in the relationship. You both still care a great deal for each other, and for her — it’s not worth wasting. That’s her perspective. It’s your choice, though. So this being a heart decision — it’s not out of left field.

   I tell you this, because you ask why do women drive good men to be bad? It’s simply a matter of perspective and how much power you’re giving this woman. I’m guessing that you’ve already gave her most of your spirit and soul — since you’ve changed pretty much everything about yourself in an attempt to keep her. So — you really have to ask yourself who’s really to blame? Her? Or — should you take some of the responsibility for allowing her to dictate so much of who you’ve become?

   Hope this makes sense.

   As for men being dogs? A good friend of mine sat me down during my college years and said:

   Look, it’s a given that all men are dogs. The difference is — how MUCH dog is in him.

   I never forgot that.

   G’luck!

5. kings4oasis1 on June 24th, 2008 10:00 am

   My ex wanted to be close friends after the breakup(a little over 2 months ago).We weren’t together as long as your relationship but it’s funny you mention at the end of the story why do women drive good men to be bad. Because after my breakup someone close to me asked me, so are you going to be a jerk to women now?They used a harsher word than jerk,and I thought about it. I won’t purposely be like that in any future relationship but I will be more careful and not weak. Just from my own experience it seems the nicer you are and more available you make yourself your making yourself to be weak in the process. It has to be some kind of balance of strength and nuturing for the woman. I have no idea i’m no expert, but I do see how experiences like this will make you a bit more skeptical of the next relationship you get into. My advice, cut the ties with her and let her experience life without you. I’m doing this with my ex and i’m not accepting the calls or txts anymore. Sometimes you have to draw a line, even if they want to be in your life. See how it goes from there. Good Luck. And return that ring and go buy yourself an amp or a new guitar!

6. kristy on June 26th, 2008 6:48 am

   well you guys are not dogs we are smart do not want to get married

7. SweetLoving1975 on June 26th, 2008 4:04 pm

   Some women are just like that. Don’t let that kill your spirit or turn you into a bad person. When you least expect it, that special one will walk into your life and you will know it. Don’t let one bad apple spoil the entire crop. There are good ones of us out here.